you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
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True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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