Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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