The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
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I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
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Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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