I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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