I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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