In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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