dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize