also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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