Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize