she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
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bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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