I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
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is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
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I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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