Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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