Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I met the friendliest cop last night
well you can't waste a boner
there was a trapeze. enough said
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So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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