It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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