DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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