Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize