Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So apparently I’m into choking now
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