He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
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You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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