Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?

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  (859): Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in? http://tfl.nu/azmi
  Replies (8) Good night (527) Bad night (3914) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.

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  (317): I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward. http://tfl.nu/qgop
  Replies (24) Good night (1868) Bad night (3360) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college

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  (615): Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college http://tfl.nu/1jn9
  Replies (7) Good night (4984) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"

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  (630): Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind" http://tfl.nu/dke2
  Replies (17) Good night (4852) Bad night (909)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror

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  (515): I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror http://tfl.nu/xej5
  Replies (17) Good night (4977) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.

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  (914): He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash. http://tfl.nu/xg6e
  Replies (9) Good night (3220) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.

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  (443): She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals. http://tfl.nu/esz5
  Replies (14) Good night (2620) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.

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  (716): I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable. http://tfl.nu/tziy
  Replies (6) Good night (2416) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.

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  (+44): This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats. http://tfl.nu/c5o0
  Replies (14) Good night (905) Bad night (2159)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.

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  (214): Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina. http://tfl.nu/1pki
  Replies (5) Good night (1800) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em

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  (360): Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em http://tfl.nu/8kd5
  Replies (3) Good night (334) Bad night (1703) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.

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  (252): Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation. http://tfl.nu/waj0
  Replies (5) Good night (727) Bad night (479)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.

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  (713): Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/j76u
  Replies (1) Good night (817) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?

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  (330): Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that? http://tfl.nu/r624
  Replies (8) Good night (1354) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.

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  (434): This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair. http://tfl.nu/7doa
  Replies (4) Good night (240) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt

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