I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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