Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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