i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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