Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my phone needs a breathalizer
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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