I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize