im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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