you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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