This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
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I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
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We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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