Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.

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  (513): I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off. (1-513): trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis. http://tfl.nu/8skg
  Replies (23) Good night (2368) Bad night (571)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes

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  (219): The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes http://tfl.nu/ulxb
  Replies (14) Good night (694) Bad night (4274) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates

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  (978): If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates http://tfl.nu/qzzm
  Replies (28) Good night (3850) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins

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  (517): You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins http://tfl.nu/vpk9
  Replies (19) Good night (5746) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth

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  (865): I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth http://tfl.nu/mdm2
  Replies (13) Good night (1227) Bad night (4021) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.

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  (201): I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday. http://tfl.nu/fib9
  Replies (49) Good night (5247) Bad night (1243) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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  (951): His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format http://tfl.nu/g7e8
  Replies (12) Good night (5551) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.

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  (404): Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here. http://tfl.nu/lskr
  Replies (3) Good night (1447) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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  (619): By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time. http://tfl.nu/je0g
  Replies (14) Good night (2382) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.

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  (603): Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic. http://tfl.nu/b5pl
  Replies (2) Good night (1714) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.

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  (407): Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does. http://tfl.nu/r28t
  Replies (3) Good night (1580) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.

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  (516): Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy. http://tfl.nu/8uc8
  Replies (10) Good night (855) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?

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  (772): How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer? http://tfl.nu/kmhe
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him

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  (484): you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him http://tfl.nu/re5m
  Replies (1) Good night (741) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom

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  (403): Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom http://tfl.nu/04zu
  Replies (2) Good night (1127) Bad night (256)

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