you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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