so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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