the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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