My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
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He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
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Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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