i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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