went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
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He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
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He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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