if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
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I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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