Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize