he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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