Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize