Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Where is the hickey?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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