awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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