i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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