its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
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I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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