The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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