New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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