No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
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I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
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I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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