It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
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I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
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Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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