Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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