i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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