oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
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We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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