Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No...this little piggys going to the bar
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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